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It has always baffled me that these men presume that a picture of a disembodied phallus should be enough to warrant me arranging a ‘meeting’ with them.
They are risking both their physical and mental health, and they are willing to do it because they crave the love, acceptance and security they haven’t found at home, in their communities or within the educational system.
Unfortunately, many of these young men do just that, and acquire for themselves a sex education which dictates that submission, relinquishment of power and subserviently allowing yourself to be used sexually are the modes by which you can most expediently access affection, however fleeting and ephemeral it may be.
Gay dating sites have revolutionised the way we connect with each other and have provided opportunities for interaction that were impossible before.
If any of these men had been abusive or put pressure on me to do things I wasn’t comfortable doing, I could well have found myself going along with them.
A decade ago, I just didn’t have the emotional confidence to refuse.